Loving People Despite Their Bad Behavior

What do we do with survivors who forgive their rapists? Do we shame them? Do we accuse them of buying into rape culture and patriarchy? What do we do with our own emotions when we choose to forgive our rapists and abusers? What if we love our abusers and have a soft spot for them in our lives AND carry rage and anger towards them? It is a complicated existence when it comes to the flux of human emotions. We have the juxtaposition of intense rage and complicated compassion. We have accepted apologies but still have nightmares and PTSD. We can mourn men and women who have done horrible things without feeling guilty for doing so.

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The Complexity Of Too Much Praise

The first time it occurred to me to doubt myself, was at work and this woman who looked like me told me I did not write very well. Oh my goodness. I was mad at her, and then I believed her and I really stayed away from writing for a little while. The fragility of my ego and my self-esteem buckled at the tiniest critique. I was in shambles over an opinion, because I was accustomed to being praised without honest critique from most people. However, once I was out of school I just believed that my people loved anything I’d written, and I believed I was at the top of my writing game. WRONNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!!!!!!!!!

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The Power Of Keeping It Real

Submissions, rejections and finding a happy medium. Writing is a blissful thing, people reading my writing. Is a blissful thing but rejections still hurt. Big hurt, or small hurt, it’s all the same feeling of inadequacy. Whether it’s true or not, hurt feelings are super real and the more I submit is the more I open myself to being rejected. It’s a part of the game. Any writer knows this. The high of an acceptance is matched with the low of a rejection. It’s a part of the process.

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Rejection Is Necessary

Whether I’m published again or never again matters but it doesn’t really matter. It’s like being rejected by a guy, it matters but it doesn’t really matter. It matters and is a big deal in that moment but the moment I decide to change my mind, that situation loses its effect. I believe every rejection has a lesson and a blessing attached to it.

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