We outgrow situations, places, and people and there are no hard feelings involved. Shit, we even outgrow our own bullshit when it stops serving us. There is no other way to look at this progression in life, we grow up and situations become unworkable and they have to end. Swap out situations for people. Why keep being friends with someone who is committed to a one-sided friendship? Why call ppl who don’t return calls? Why chase friendships? Nah. I am going to get myself to a place where I can say…oh yea…that’s cute and not keep being pissed at myself for being a sellout. I am going to stop sabotaging myself. Maybe you should too?Read More That’s Not Cute…
Also if someone goes off on you after you’ve politely told them you’re not interested, consider yourself lucky because you dodged an enormous bullet. Sane humans beings, while hurt may offer words of regret or may even ask why but an unstable person will dredge up some crazy things to say to get a rise out of you, and the best response is no response. You can’t argue with someone who insecure and has a negative self-image because they will bring you down to the pits of their sadness and you deserve better than that. Take your rejections in stride, and take your hurt feelings and go.Read More Take Your Hurt Feelings And Go!
There are so many things about light skinned girls being butt hurt that dark brown girls are shining, but I don’t know if that is even true. Who is driving this narrative about the competition? If you grew up in black family, you know there are hella different shades and who cares? We all contend with the fallout of white is right, and colorism, but WHEN do we move past that and just show up lovingly for each other beyond our shades? When does it become okay to celebrate the spectrum of all brown skinned girls? There are ways in which we must support each other as women that outweigh the colorism issue.Read More Brown Skinned Girl
My heart still beat madly out of my chest, the cage of butterflies busted open and when I saw him, my soul smiled. It’s like when we first kissed in 1995, in the church courtyard that linked our schools, and I went to a different dimension. The feeling you feel when you never knew you could be so satisfied and yet wanting so much more, this feeling, this thought, this nostalgia made those seven years feel like seven minutes and I was back in the company of the person who was the most important person in my life on Sunday afternoons in 1995.Read More Sunday Afternoon Treat
In fact, the advocacy IS to speak up when bothered and if it’s not understood when I say it tactfully, then I’ll just have to bring out my inner goon and let motherfuckers know that my personal peace trumps whatever the fuck they think of me. Yes, Namaste, the light in me sees the light in you, but Nammafuckyouup, the goon in me sees the shade in you. Do not fuck with me. Come to me respectfully, and I promise I will absolutely do the same. However I will not be muted, silenced or looked over because that’s what someone believes I deserve. I’m going to speak up for myself and that’s just that.Read More Namaste But NammafuckyouUp: Don’t Let The Easy Vibes Fool You
No one knows ALL the parts of your story but you, and the parts that you refuse to share with others automatically disqualifies anyone else’s opinion of how you should live your fullest life. You can seek guidance, allow words from trusted advisors to marinate yet nothing will resonate with you more than the answers stemming from yourself. You are an expert in yourself, a guru, a sage and you possess all the answers you are seeking. Trust yourself.Read More The Answer Comes From Within
I isolated myself to the point of no words, and I became proficient at being okay, fine and just tired. But in reality I was drowning, I was in unimaginable amounts of pain and I was ashamed, embarrassed too scared to speak up because I felt worthless. It’s been hard and it is hard to write to these things about myself but I must. Talking about this here helps me and I know it will help people like me because I know I’m not the only one who has been too strong, for too long but falling apart behind closed doors.Read More Accepting Mental Illness