Sunday Afternoon Treat

My heart still beat madly out of my chest, the cage of butterflies busted open and when I saw him, my soul smiled. It’s like when we first kissed in 1995, in the church courtyard that linked our schools, and I went to a different dimension. The feeling you feel when you never knew you could be so satisfied and yet wanting so much more, this feeling, this thought, this nostalgia made those seven years feel like seven minutes and I was back in the company of the person who was the most important person in my life on Sunday afternoons in 1995.

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The Spark

The routine of good morning texts, wyd texts, and let us make a plan to hang once a week is the antithesis of a slow burn, and I need slow burn. I believe in reaching out when I have something important to say, when I know I want to see him and we create that plan. I prefer to save conversations for in-person connection and taking it from there. Anyone who is a parent, works and has adulting to do is going to be very selective with their time and will want to spend it wisely. I can get behind that idea and take things as they come.

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Namaste But NammafuckyouUp: Don’t Let The Easy Vibes Fool You

In fact, the advocacy IS to speak up when bothered and if it’s not understood when I say it tactfully, then I’ll just have to bring out my inner goon and let motherfuckers know that my personal peace trumps whatever the fuck they think of me. Yes, Namaste, the light in me sees the light in you, but Nammafuckyouup, the goon in me sees the shade in you. Do not fuck with me. Come to me respectfully, and I promise I will absolutely do the same. However I will not be muted, silenced or looked over because that’s what someone believes I deserve. I’m going to speak up for myself and that’s just that.


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You Can’t Sit With Us

Every opportunity isn’t for everyone, and all spots have to be earned. We carve out our space in this world, choose our communities wisely, and build from the ground up when we weren’t invited to certain tables. Everyone can effectively choose where they will sit and how they will show up in this world based on their sense of self. Everyone at some point will be rejected from tables, however, that’s an opportunity to create your own. Every table isn’t for everybody and if you want to stay at a table there are rules, and if you cannot comply, then you can’t sit here. Period.

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…But He’s A Good Guy

Women should be able to wear whatever they’d like without some man assuming that’s an invitation for him to touch her. The responsibility should fall on men to educate other men on why respecting women matter and how touching women without permission is a gross violation of the trust that has already been established and why stepping in to shut down other men from violating women. It’s maddening to think about how many things women have to do in order to ensure we have a good night and make it home safely to reflect on the good time we had.

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Fight or Flight: An Exercise In Calming The Fuck Down

Hurt people hurt people, but hurt people can also heal. Our healing begins the moment we can acknowledge how hurt we have actually been and take inventory of how much life we have missed out on by barricading ourselves behind our walls. The walls keep out the people who are no good for us, yet it also very predictably keeps the wonderful ones at bay as well. We are making the choice to lose before we ever allow ourselves to get on the court. Life fucking hurts, people hurt us, but guess what? We hurt people too, and we are also the villains in someone’s story.

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