Hurt people hurt people, but hurt people can also heal. Our healing begins the moment we can acknowledge how hurt we have actually been and take inventory of how much life we have missed out on by barricading ourselves behind our walls. The walls keep out the people who are no good for us, yet it also very predictably keeps the wonderful ones at bay as well. We are making the choice to lose before we ever allow ourselves to get on the court. Life fucking hurts, people hurt us, but guess what? We hurt people too, and we are also the villains in someone’s story.Read More Fight or Flight: An Exercise In Calming The Fuck Down
At some point, one or both parties will want more than either or both can effectively deliver, and this is where the front row seat to the shit show of your life begins to play out. Sure, the desire at the beginning trumped your common sense, respect for all parties involved and the incredibly devastating consequences therefore now panic and pain resides permanently in your thoughts. What have you done? Well, you sold out the person who you willingly agreed to communicate with at the beginning of your relationship. You chose to play out scenarios in your head when communication became difficult and you effectively allowed the space for an outsider to trample on everything you created with someone who trusted you. Your selfishness became the standard and your integrity has become null and void.Read More The Deceptive Allure Of Cheating
Grieving is a necessary part of life. It is a raw expression of feeling loss, disappointment and a longing for what once was or what could have been. What grief is not, is being present to what is possible while overcoming that pain. Actively preparing myself to be sad on a particular day is disempowering and there is no honor in operating that way for me. Whether I am grieving for a lost relationship, or a lost loved one the answer remains the same; I cannot grieve forever.Read More How Much Grief Is Too Much Grief?
We are all spiritual beings looking to love and be loved, to listen and to be heard, honored, respected, and treated with compassion. Hold out for the one who is willing to read ALL the pages of your story. It is easy to be loved when you are cherry and positive, but far more challenging when our triggers arise, and our conditions aren’t being met. The right person will create with you, work through with you, and make the space to reach an understanding that works for both parties. The right person will hold the space to create conditions for both of you to come as you and work on elevating to your best selfRead More Create Conditions Together
I isolated myself to the point of no words, and I became proficient at being okay, fine and just tired. But in reality I was drowning, I was in unimaginable amounts of pain and I was ashamed, embarrassed too scared to speak up because I felt worthless. It’s been hard and it is hard to write to these things about myself but I must. Talking about this here helps me and I know it will help people like me because I know I’m not the only one who has been too strong, for too long but falling apart behind closed doors.Read More Accepting Mental Illness
How does one process the painful ramifications of the fallout of the lies from a sweet liar? It’s almost easier to deal with an outright asshole because they never hid their deception. At least assholes are wolves from the beginning and you have a choice to lay with a hungry wolf, who you know will rip your heart and emotions to shreds. Also, with an asshole who is honest, you’ll never have to guess what’s coming, it’ll be in your face and you can make a conscious choice to tackle the situation or not.Read More Sweet Liars
Training myself to prioritize myself has been a steep battle internal struggle. It is literally me practicing self-care by speaking up for myself AND believing that what I am saying matters, is valued and the person hearing me is receiving me with love. It is a real-life struggle to be my own advocate when I know how to advocate for others indiscriminately. However, it is inauthentic to do for others before I can do for myself. It is a dishonest way to direct people to speak for themselves when I stay silent through injustices inflicted upon me. I have to push through the practice of pushing my tears and words down when they are on the verge of my eyes and lips. I must find the same level of compassion I readily have for others for myself.Read More Your Needs Are Valid – You Are Not A Burden