Fight or Flight: An Exercise In Calming The Fuck Down

Hurt people hurt people, but hurt people can also heal. Our healing begins the moment we can acknowledge how hurt we have actually been and take inventory of how much life we have missed out on by barricading ourselves behind our walls. The walls keep out the people who are no good for us, yet it also very predictably keeps the wonderful ones at bay as well. We are making the choice to lose before we ever allow ourselves to get on the court. Life fucking hurts, people hurt us, but guess what? We hurt people too, and we are also the villains in someone’s story.

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The Deceptive Allure Of Cheating

At some point, one or both parties will want more than either or both can effectively deliver, and this is where the front row seat to the shit show of your life begins to play out. Sure, the desire at the beginning trumped your common sense, respect for all parties involved and the incredibly devastating consequences therefore now panic and pain resides permanently in your thoughts. What have you done? Well, you sold out the person who you willingly agreed to communicate with at the beginning of your relationship. You chose to play out scenarios in your head when communication became difficult and you effectively allowed the space for an outsider to trample on everything you created with someone who trusted you. Your selfishness became the standard and your integrity has become null and void.

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Create Conditions Together

We are all spiritual beings looking to love and be loved, to listen and to be heard, honored, respected, and treated with compassion. Hold out for the one who is willing to read ALL the pages of your story. It is easy to be loved when you are cherry and positive, but far more challenging when our triggers arise, and our conditions aren’t being met. The right person will create with you, work through with you, and make the space to reach an understanding that works for both parties. The right person will hold the space to create conditions for both of you to come as you and work on elevating to your best self

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A Letter To Anyone Haunted By The Trauma Of Not Being Believed…

You as an adult never realize when you’ll have a moment of flashback until you’re drowning in tears and unable to catch your breath because you’re being suffocated by the silence and rage you’ve had to swallow for years because NO ONE took the time to make you feel protected, wanted and like they would bring justice to your cries for help. This is for those of us who have sat in silence because there have been no examples where we have ever felt like our bodies mattered enough for anyone to care. This letter is for all of us who are so scarred by our trauma of not being believed or being brushed off entirely. It’s not your fault.

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Navigating My Friendships While Being an INFJ

I am almost always drained from a day of hanging with people, no matter if I love the people or it’s a group of strangers, I need to decompress, quietly. I would much rather text than EVER take a phone call, and if we are hanging out, please be okay with long stretches of silence because while I may love your company, sometimes I just want to be in my thoughts or enjoy the ambience without talking a bunch. I have always been this way, and I like myself this way, but I’m learning that my friends who need constant engagement and conversation it may seem hard to digest.

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Loneliness Is A Terrible Reason To Date

You cannot give nor receive love if you are unable to sit with the lowest, nastiest, and most undesirable parts of yourself. Facing our insecurities head-on will make it impossible to hide. The only access to healing, and curing the hatefulness of being lonely, is to work through it by yourself. Cry, breakdown, fall down and see the discomfort all the way through. Become intimate with those demons that have come out in inconvenient times, and harmed people who were casualties in your war with yourself. You must be vigilant about staying on course even when you find someone you believe is enticing.

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The Growing Pains of Being Woke

These are the days where I swear my chakras are all out of alignment and every single planet in my chart is in retrograde, and I am destined to be a single woman with a failed writing career. These are the days where knowing the work doesn’t translate to the practicality of the pain of daily life. Sometimes knowing the work doesn’t stop the painful thoughts from running rapidly through my mind. It’s not that the work isn’t real, but there a moments where the work doesn’t matter because the pain stings my ego too much.

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