A Broken Heart Can Kill You

I knew what it meant to love so completely, and knowing there was an expiration date, and I did it anyway. It was worth the lesson, the growth, the self-introspection but it came along with a pain that brought me to my knees. Ugh. The days when I knew we had to have a hard conversation, I would cry for hours on end, I would literally feel my heart hurting and the daggers turning painfully and there was nothing I could do but ride it out. It hurt because he understood me, saw me, loved me too and it had to end. It hurt because we did things that caused each other more pain on purpose and I don’t like that.

Read More A Broken Heart Can Kill You

Apologize To Me For Making Me Mad

How many times have we seen an abused person become an abuser? It’s a dynamic that’s scary because I wonder when does the switch become flicked? When does it occur to someone who had no voice, say or emotional safety become someone who oppresses others? I think with third graders and kids in general, they are finding their voice, their place in the world and their friendships matter a great deal to them at that age. However, adults who never actually find their voice, or work through their childhood abuse become someone who either overly asserts or completely shrinks.

Read More Apologize To Me For Making Me Mad

Pro Blackness and Interracial Dating

How did this work into my pro-blackness? Well, I think there is no escaping my blackness, and no desire on my part to escape. The white men that I dated were all culturally aware, competent and open to talking about race, interracial dating BUT also they were interested in ME! I am very clearly a black woman, with natural hair, natural curves and my thought process is now and will always be for the advancement and equity for black and brown boys and girls everywhere.

Read More Pro Blackness and Interracial Dating

Date Grown Ass Men

The conversation was organic, authentic and extremely easy. There wasn’t a whole lot of surface conversation about bullshit, we got right into talking about our projects, our kiddos, our life journeys and just all the important things that drive good conversation forward. He is very easy on the eyes, he has a slighter build than what I normally prefer BUT he’s so damn confident, and easy to talk to, so it didn’t actually matter at all. A couple drinks in me, and I felt more calm and more at ease to act out what I was thinking.

Read More Date Grown Ass Men

Bumbling Bees

That shit was legit but it was all kinds of dudes, all kinds of ages, all kinds of ethnicities and all kinds of looks. I didn’t want all kinds of anything. I had to adjust the age because I don’t want any 20 something year olds UNLESS we are just having sex and maybe just maybe have a fun day at the beach or some shit. I had to filter the other direction too because I don’t want to date anyone 55 years old and over because UMMMMM no, I don’t want no DAddy who is literally as old as my own parents. That’s not appealing to me at all. I also had to filter young ones and the older guys who didn’t have kids.

Read More Bumbling Bees

Dating Is…

I want men who are busy as hell AND they make time and they spend energy thinking about ways to woo me. That’s what I’m into. Because I’m always going to bring my best to the table. I’m always gonna look fly, smell good, speak on a variety of topics and add to your value. That’s just who I am. I’m not gonna settle for anyone who doesn’t recognize or isn’t ready to rise to the occasion. Dating is fun but it should also be a learning experience that leaves both parties better and well fed in mind, body and spirit.

Read More Dating Is…

Love Cannot Be Contained

In the very subjective analysis I can definitively say that I was not treated with love, kindness nor consideration. There was no part of the way he acted came from a place of love. He is selfish and he is a coward. Fine. That is not the way i want to live my life. Therefore there’s no energy that this man could get from me in real life. I need to write this out, talk it out, purge it out and then move on. I can think about the situation as a reminder and as a lesson not to give in too easily. This is a reminder and a lesson to reconcile my own feelings and go with my gut the first time.

Read More Love Cannot Be Contained