Sweet Liars

How does one process the painful ramifications of the fallout of the lies from a sweet liar? It’s almost easier to deal with an outright asshole because they never hid their deception. At least assholes are wolves from the beginning and you have a choice to lay with a hungry wolf, who you know will rip your heart and emotions to shreds. Also, with an asshole who is honest, you’ll never have to guess what’s coming, it’ll be in your face and you can make a conscious choice to tackle the situation or not.

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Navigating My Friendships While Being an INFJ

I am almost always drained from a day of hanging with people, no matter if I love the people or it’s a group of strangers, I need to decompress, quietly. I would much rather text than EVER take a phone call, and if we are hanging out, please be okay with long stretches of silence because while I may love your company, sometimes I just want to be in my thoughts or enjoy the ambience without talking a bunch. I have always been this way, and I like myself this way, but I’m learning that my friends who need constant engagement and conversation it may seem hard to digest.

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The Complexity Of Too Much Praise

The first time it occurred to me to doubt myself, was at work and this woman who looked like me told me I did not write very well. Oh my goodness. I was mad at her, and then I believed her and I really stayed away from writing for a little while. The fragility of my ego and my self-esteem buckled at the tiniest critique. I was in shambles over an opinion, because I was accustomed to being praised without honest critique from most people. However, once I was out of school I just believed that my people loved anything I’d written, and I believed I was at the top of my writing game. WRONNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!!!!!!!!!

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My Expectations Are Disappointing Me – Not Other People

I’ve been guilty of making someone’s need for space about me. I have taken their silence, as an attack on me, and I spend a ridiculous amount of time agonizing, and suffering about an issue that has zero to do with me. The more I pushed the person to open up, is the deeper and wider the distance became. The non issue with me, becomes a real issue because I didn’t acknowledge nor respect the person’s need for space. I now overstand how it feels. My need for room, space and time is critical and essential for my well being.

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Our Parents Beat Us- We Are Better People Because Of It…Or Are We?

Why is beating children a good idea, but we know a husband beating a wife is a bad idea? What are the logical and factual reasons for beating children so badly they have black and blues and welts all over their bodies? Is the lesson; if you do something wrong, you should be punished by getting beaten down? When you fuck up the only recourse is to get hit by anything someone can find so you know never to do that thing again? An adult asserting power in this way is simply abusive and there are no real positive results stemming from a practice rooted in dominance, fear, and total and utter compliance. Why are we spanking toddlers? We do it so they can listen better? How come it’s frowned upon to spank puppies or kittens when they don’t listen, but it’s okay to spank little people who do not speak yet?

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The Power Of Keeping It Real

Submissions, rejections and finding a happy medium. Writing is a blissful thing, people reading my writing. Is a blissful thing but rejections still hurt. Big hurt, or small hurt, it’s all the same feeling of inadequacy. Whether it’s true or not, hurt feelings are super real and the more I submit is the more I open myself to being rejected. It’s a part of the game. Any writer knows this. The high of an acceptance is matched with the low of a rejection. It’s a part of the process.

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There Is No Safe Space For Sexual Assault Survivors

We must be allies, and advocates for ALL victims of sexual violence. There seems to be picking and choosing who is credible depending on who the abuser is. There’s an unwillingness to believe survivors because our affinity and loyalty for our memories somehow outweigh another human’s traumatic story. The shaming of survivors has been able to thrive for this length of time because fear has hindered their desire to speak up. However, now we have hundreds of survivors who are finding their voice because a handful has chosen to speak up.

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