The Danger of Codependency

I wanted so much for myself but I kept stopping and putting my healing on hold because I was in a holding pattern of hoping, wishing and fantasizing about things being different and yet they were not. It took us months to actually break up, and I finally had to buckle down and pull the plug for good because it felt like poison to my soul. Do I love this man? Oh I surely do but I loved my sanity, well being and healing far more than him.

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Fight or Flight: An Exercise In Calming The Fuck Down

Hurt people hurt people, but hurt people can also heal. Our healing begins the moment we can acknowledge how hurt we have actually been and take inventory of how much life we have missed out on by barricading ourselves behind our walls. The walls keep out the people who are no good for us, yet it also very predictably keeps the wonderful ones at bay as well. We are making the choice to lose before we ever allow ourselves to get on the court. Life fucking hurts, people hurt us, but guess what? We hurt people too, and we are also the villains in someone’s story.

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A Letter To Anyone Haunted By The Trauma Of Not Being Believed…

You as an adult never realize when you’ll have a moment of flashback until you’re drowning in tears and unable to catch your breath because you’re being suffocated by the silence and rage you’ve had to swallow for years because NO ONE took the time to make you feel protected, wanted and like they would bring justice to your cries for help. This is for those of us who have sat in silence because there have been no examples where we have ever felt like our bodies mattered enough for anyone to care. This letter is for all of us who are so scarred by our trauma of not being believed or being brushed off entirely. It’s not your fault.

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Fat Is Not A Synonym For Ugly

Ugliness starts on the inside. It is the belief that parts of you are so unlovable, unworthy and undesirable, you display those things outwardly. You seek out ways to harm others with words and deeds you usually reserve for yourself when no one is looking. The harshest words and unkindness you tell others, are nothing compared to what you say to yourself. I understand. To be ugly is to reject the parts of you that make you a relatable human being. Fatness is not ugliness. A willingness to shame someone for being who they are is the ugliest and most present sign of self-loathing.

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I Apologize For Hurting You But I’m Not Responsible For Your Healing

There is room for follow up conversations, which can provide clarity, forward movement, and further healing, nevertheless no one is responsible for someone else’s healing process. Childhood trauma, teenage drama, and life before you, play a role in how someone processes hurt and move through their healing process. There’s nothing that anyone can do to heal someone’s abandonment issues. Listening to someone’s story is one thing, however, taking them through the trials and tribulations associated with healing must come from their willingness to heal.

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When Your Love Is Not Enough

Choosing yourself means recognizing the affection you are serving is be wasted on someone who doesn’t appreciate you. It means taking that energy and using it to fuel your aching heart. The pain that you’re feeling will pass IF you stare it down and admit that it’s real. Only you can come to own the truth of your personal destruction. You know in your heart that this is NOT the love you deserve. You have to decide when you’ve had enough because a taker will take for as long as you allow that to happen.

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The Power Of Affirmations and Acknowledgements

I encourage you to offer an affirmation and acknowledgement to three people today. Take the time to be present, observe and offer your kind words to a stranger, a loved one and yourself. Take the time today to seek out positivity, silver linings and bright smiles. Go out of your way to make someone’s life better today, and watch how your mood improves. World peace is a lofty goal and who knows if we could ever achieve that. However, peace in your heart, your immediate environment and in your community can begin with you. It is you offering your words to someone who could really use it.

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