Loving People Despite Their Bad Behavior

What do we do with survivors who forgive their rapists? Do we shame them? Do we accuse them of buying into rape culture and patriarchy? What do we do with our own emotions when we choose to forgive our rapists and abusers? What if we love our abusers and have a soft spot for them in our lives AND carry rage and anger towards them? It is a complicated existence when it comes to the flux of human emotions. We have the juxtaposition of intense rage and complicated compassion. We have accepted apologies but still have nightmares and PTSD. We can mourn men and women who have done horrible things without feeling guilty for doing so.

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Black Boy Joy

I wish we lived in a world where young black boys were seen as human beings we MUST protect at all costs. It’s shameful, and hurtful the way black boys are marginalized and labeled almost from birth as menaces to society before they can formulate their sentences correctly. Black boy joy makes the world a better place because when we have multiples roses growing from concrete, we will eventually have rose gardens where death and poverty previously prevailed.

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Irrational Fears

The thing about death is the finality of the whole thing. The earthly ending is very difficult. There really is no end to how much you actually miss someone and how much it hurts. I think of my friend, my first date and I can still see his handsome face, I can feel his touch, I remember our conversations and the hardest part is remembering that we weren’t good when he died. We had fallen out and we didn’t really talk for a while and hearing he died changed me.

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The Right To Die

Funerals are for the living. The dead are already gone and transitioned into the next realm. Often, I find that people become obsessed with comparing stories of how much they loved the deceased and how much their death is impacting their lives and who is actually more sad. But the honest to God truth is that we live with an enormous amount of regret and sadness when a person dies. We do not say how we feel enough, we do not lean in enough, we do not actually care and make life work as much as we think we do. In fact, the love that is present and the feelings that are present when we mean to check in…the intention is good but more often than not, we procrastinate and we don’t get around to calling or leaning in to see what’s good.

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