8 Years of Mommying

She was always a choice for me. I knew she was a girl the moment I found out I was pregnant. I knew that we were connected because I used to dream of her and I’d talk to her often when she was cooking in my womb. When she was born at 11:04 AM, I was ready for her and she was ready for me. She latched on and drank her milk and we have been hanging out ever since. She teaches me the importance of honoring my word because she will clock me if I skip out on a duty. She says it kindly and with compassion but she checks me!!! I end up doing what I said I would do. Ha ha.

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Date Grown Ass Men

The conversation was organic, authentic and extremely easy. There wasn’t a whole lot of surface conversation about bullshit, we got right into talking about our projects, our kiddos, our life journeys and just all the important things that drive good conversation forward. He is very easy on the eyes, he has a slighter build than what I normally prefer BUT he’s so damn confident, and easy to talk to, so it didn’t actually matter at all. A couple drinks in me, and I felt more calm and more at ease to act out what I was thinking.

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Good Luck?

Intention, planning, purpose, discipline, concentration, effort and deliberation is what goes into the things I do. I don’t do anything unless I put my all into it and it is important for me to be a part of something that is done with care, done with excellence and done with a finesse and a style that is evident in the final product. So when someone says good luck, I’m like uhhhhh, luck?????

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Love Cannot Be Contained

In the very subjective analysis I can definitively say that I was not treated with love, kindness nor consideration. There was no part of the way he acted came from a place of love. He is selfish and he is a coward. Fine. That is not the way i want to live my life. Therefore there’s no energy that this man could get from me in real life. I need to write this out, talk it out, purge it out and then move on. I can think about the situation as a reminder and as a lesson not to give in too easily. This is a reminder and a lesson to reconcile my own feelings and go with my gut the first time.

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To live with the absence of love means that you’ll swipe right, swipe left and maybe you’ll find some connection. You’ll even convince yourself to go on a date and hey, it may lead to something more. However, you know it seldom does, it doesn’t go further because even though this person may be cool, they don’t seem cool enough to break out of your cautionary and high fortress that surrounds your achy heart.

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My Wildest Dreams

I’d like to be able to say that when I leave this earth, I left it better than I found it. I have always believed that it is my mission to remind people that their love is far greater than their fear. I am starting with myself and the conversations I’m having in my brain and out in real life. I was playing a game that was far too small for what I knew I was capable of in my life. But I needed that incubation period to connect to who I needed to connect to AND I needed to be reminded of what not honoring my life looked like.

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