What freedom means is knowing that there is nothing wrong, therefore taking no actions consistent with being in a fight and rather surrendering to the universe and doing absolutely nothing. It is our roaming minds that has us look for breakdowns that do not exist. However the moment that I sit still, I breathe, I relax, I inhale and exhale and simply be with gratitude, a wave of peace comes over me. I do worry often and I have anxiety but I also have the skills to transform my worry into nothingness. I sit with the moment, I sit with my breath and I inhale, exhale and feel the rise of my heart and feel the expanding of my lungs. I am present to the sensations in my body and I’m present to the life happening around me. I’m grateful to be able to breathe and create new beginnings.

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Letting Myself Win

It’s nothing more than lack of self awareness. By awareness I mean, remembering that it is ME who is the narrator and the author of how I respond to things. It is me where these thoughts start and while situations have me feeling a certain way, I have to affirm myself and remind myself that feelings are like the weather; subject to change. I have to remember that a bad moment doesn’t make a bad life. I have to remember that personal demons are a part of me but they are not all of me and just as bad and negative thoughts can invade my mind, so can positive and joyful thoughts. I’m the one who gets to make that call.

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Bright Lights

I feel like I’m going to another world at this moment. I’m in another dimension and I am elevated to a status that I am having a hard time placing or identifying. It’s a world that I don’t recognize but I do know that I am where I’m supposed to be. With that reality, comes the actual realization that I have outgrown spaces, people and thoughts in my life. It’s not a looking down on anyone but it IS a graduation from a phase in my life that no longer serves me. I have to change my narrative. I have to transform my life and that means shedding dead weight in all forms. Intellectually it hurts but spiritually it will FREE ME!!!

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Knowing When To Say When

I’ve had friendships dissolve and some hurt more than others. I have not ended many friendships but I feel like the ones that I did, really needed to end. I believe in loyalty and good vibes in friendship. I think that friendships just like relationships take work and require honesty and communication. As long as there is a clear channel of communication and a plan to evolve, things can work well for a long time. I do also think though that a person’s relationship with themselves affects A LOT in their lives.

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The Whole Universe Conspired…

I am currently stunned and in gratitude because I met a soul like my Triple T who gets me on a level that is seemingly far too familiar. He, like Triple T, get me in a way that other people absolutely do not get me. They see ME, all aspects of ME and their spirits and souls match mine in ways that I did not know were even possible. The friendship there is uncomplicated, easy, divine and while filled with very real world ups and downs, for the most part my heart is at ease there. I feel true reciprocity because these two people love themselves, they are aware of themselves, they are unafraid to speak their truth, unafraid to be vulnerable, courageous, and truthful when it is difficult.

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Communication Saves Lives

I pride myself on being able to communicate effectively. Honestly though, sometimes I do fail and do not do as well as I can. I remember that when I am pissed at others and their communication or lack thereof. I give and make room for people to be themselves as they are and as they aren’t and I love them regardless. I have a deep and wide capacity for forgiveness, kindness and overstanding in tough situations. It is as much my responsibility not to assume malice, as it is theirs. It is also my responsibility to hold the space for clarity, compassion, empathy and respect. We are all fighting a battle, and we are all looking to be heard and sometimes when we are wounded, we are not our best selves and the way we communicate hurt may end up causing more hurt, we may not have the language, space or desire to speak out effectively. I get that.

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All Falls Down

The access and way to true love for self and others is by standing in the reasoning and belief of freedom. When you love truly and fully the idea of fear, anxiety and ego will dissipate. The fear of someone leaving us, falling out of love and simply walking away from us is rooted in conditions and ego. The constant worry of being too much or not being enough takes precedence over the space where truth, joy, freedoms, happiness and patience should live. That rigidness and desire to protect ourselves and the need to be the gatekeepers to our heart will keep the ones who wish us ill will out AND it will also keep out those who wish us well. That part really sucks and I’m kinda unwilling to live my life like that.

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