Loving People Despite Their Bad Behavior

What do we do with survivors who forgive their rapists? Do we shame them? Do we accuse them of buying into rape culture and patriarchy? What do we do with our own emotions when we choose to forgive our rapists and abusers? What if we love our abusers and have a soft spot for them in our lives AND carry rage and anger towards them? It is a complicated existence when it comes to the flux of human emotions. We have the juxtaposition of intense rage and complicated compassion. We have accepted apologies but still have nightmares and PTSD. We can mourn men and women who have done horrible things without feeling guilty for doing so.

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The Tough Stuff

I see symbols of him every where in my life through butterflies, songs on the radio and people he sends to my life. His picture is placed on my altar with my grandma, grandfather, cousin and Ganesha who clears the obstacles. I see him everyday. I think of him all the time, yet when his death anniversary approaches I feel so helplessly sad because while I know his spirit is still with me, I miss him in this current life. I miss everything about who he was to me, I miss him being in my daughter’s life. I miss his laughter and his tenacity and I really just miss how he celebrated me in my life.

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