Women are so damn beautiful, layered, soft, seductive, and the imagination could run wild if you allow it. I was just observing a woman taking out her trash, a very mundane and noncompelling activity, but she looked so good doing it. Her curves were perfect, her hair was effortlessly looking fly, and she was slaying with ease. I’m not sexually attracted to women, but I could absolutely recognize how easy it is to become enchanted by a beautifully presented package personified. I don’t feel the same immediate awe when looking at a man I find attractive. It’s never just about how his face looks, he must possess a confidence that could be misclassified as arrogance and how he wears his clothing makes all the difference. However, that’s just part of the equation for attraction, you can have all of those physical characteristics, but if the dialogue lacks a certain mental weight then you very quickly become unattractive. These aforementioned things play into the fantasy of what makes cheating so alluring. They occur as perfection because they are characters in our minds and for some, the need to touch outweighs the respect for our partners and our relationships.
Cheating with the person in your fantasy is incredibly exhilarating if you have only lived in your fantasy world. The heart races knowing you are blessed by the touch of the person you have wanted but were forbidden to make the situation even more appealing and for some, they never want to stop. Laying with someone who makes you feel desirable, sexy and wanted is an incredible turn on and that feeling can be dangerously addictive. Sneaking around with your side piece can be a rush and the adventure of finding places to discreetly fuck is scrumptious because compared to the ordinary, boring, and unloving sex happening at home, this leaves you craving more even before you leave their presence. Cheating is definitely highly physical, but for some, the emotional connection becomes something that permeates the psyche as well. What was once just sex becomes about conversing about the things you used to love talking about but have kept to yourself because your partner just doesn’t understand anymore.
When does the allure begin to fade and the presence of the disillusion begin to wrap around you like barbed wire? At some point, one or both parties will want more than either or both can effectively deliver, and this is where the front row seat to the shit show of your life begins to play out. Sure, the desire at the beginning trumped your common sense, respect for all parties involved and the incredibly devastating consequences, therefore now panic and pain resides permanently in your thoughts. What have you done? Well, you sold out the person whom you willingly agreed to communicate with at the beginning of your relationship. You chose to play out scenarios in your head when communication became difficult and you effectively allowed the space for an outsider to trample on everything you created with someone who trusted you. Your selfishness became the standard and your integrity has become null and void.
There is no perfect relationship, no perfect people and no perfect formula have an everlasting connection. People grow, expand, grow apart and eventually break up. Pain is inevitable when dealing with human beings and that’s to be expected. We are all working out personal, and sometimes historical traumas that leave us susceptible to making poor choices. We MUST work hard to reduce leaving damage and karmic effects on the people we claim to love. Deeper than that, WE must do the work to honor ourselves, and align with the respect we know we deserve. Sexy bodies are every damn where and honestly, someone who doesn’t know you very well may seem like a much better choice than your partner, but if your personal shit is not in order then the issues will follow you everywhere. The prospect of exploring new genitalia is incredibly alluring but it is wrong if it is at the expense of someone’s trust and love.