I think that we want to believe that we can love anyone past anything, but upon certain experiences, we discover that it just is not true. I used to pride myself as someone who could stick out really hard, and uncomfortable situations but I never really thought about the affect it was having on me. Love is patient, love is kind, but what about human beings? Are we equipped to work through situations that push us to our limits? I want to say yes, but I believe that we actively choose not to push ourselves if we do not see the value in the return. Is that wrong? Are people allowed to arrive at the conclusion that there are things that they will not deal with? Yes, they are. I know relationships are supposed to be an exercise in unconditional love and understanding but I am learning that there are limits.
Infidelity, substance abuse, domestic violence, long term incarceration and child abuse are obvious and massive deal breakers for most people. These are the things that the general public will probably not judge another person for if they left. What about someone’s lack of desire to continue in a marriage, because they have grown out of that relationship? How about personal growth and development taking precedence over a relationship? Is that as acceptable as those deal breakers? No? How come? I believe that we all owe it to ourselves to take inventory about what we are feeling, and be honest about what we are feeling.
It is emotional suicide to stay with someone simply out of obligation. Love is not enough to keep a situation in tact, if your internal system is shutting down. I believe that we find it easier to focus on outward issues as reasons for a departure, rather than first paying attention to our internal dialogue. It will be painful to acknowledge something that could cause someone we love a devastating heartbreak, but it would be worse to say nothing at all. Acknowledging endings, growth and moving forward may seem debilitating, but there is power and freedom in speaking your truth. It will free you, and you may feel like a villain for a while but that will pass.
Self love is the access to loving others. Identifying your true north, and your personal truth will help you navigate personal relationships. Unfortunately in this life we may not realize our truth until we are weeks, months, years, even decades into relationships. However, once we face that truth, we are obligated to share it. Relationships can survive an earth moving shift but some will not. Go forth with truth and with a mission to honor yourself in ways that leave you in awe and grateful for your awakening. You are at the center of your life, and knowing yourself thoroughly helps you to say your truth sooner than later. It is your duty to pursue your wildest dreams because no one is coming to give you permission. What will you do with your truth?