Rejection Is Necessary

Mannnnnn I’m in my feelings because Thought Catalog didn’t accept a submission that I really liked. Well, I was in my feelings for like 5 seconds and I am kinda sorta over it. Here’s the thing, as a writer and…well…a human being, rejection is a part of everyday life. I’ve been rejected by people, by publishing companies, shiiiit rejected my damn self sometimes and it is all for the greater good. Imagine being a person who has never been told no, or try harder, or do a revision or I’m just not that into you…how would you EVER grow if you never had to deal with that? Honestly, I almost enjoy being rejected for my writing because it helps me to write more precisely, and I get to explore topics in a way that I wouldn’t normally. It helps me to be more inclusive with my writing and forces me out of my typical writing style. Rejections are good for me because when I do get an acceptance it feel soooooooo amazingly good. If everything I produced was accepted immediately, I wouldn’t ever learn anything new. I know I’m expanding my skills and my knowledge of self with each rejection that I receive. I don’t feel saddened by rejection, it’s more like a sting or a shock but then it passes rather quickly.

Rejection is also situational. I think that when a person rejects me, it’s not personal to me. It’s a personal preference to them. Not everyone will like me or want me. That’s okay. I won’t like everyone or want them. But it’s not personal to them per say but more so just in alignment with whatever is going on for me. Rejection should never be something that anyone wears like a tattoo or make it mean something about them. Everything and everyone just ain’t for everybody and that is okay. I believe that in the past I’ve made rejection mean something about me. I allowed rejection by a person to mean I wasn’t enough, or I wasn’t worthy. I allowed rejection to seep into my self esteem and make it mean I was not enough and damaged goods. But like I said before, rejection is situational and it’s not personal. I’ve learned that through rejection, I can focus on my feelings BUT don’t make my feelings a test for reality. Rejection fucking hurts. Oh god, it’s a painful thing but it does pass. I also discovered that rejection helps me out of situations I really don’t need to be in. Rejection is a necessity for growth and progress. I’ve evolved to a much healthier and positive space for having been rejected.

Will I stop submitting my work because I was rejected? No. I don’t know statistics about submissions that lead to publications or whatever but I’m going to keep submitting my work everywhere. I didn’t know the stats when I got published the first time, I just took a chance. Life is a game of chance continuously and we can use every opportunity to be better and get better as each day passes. Whether I’m published again or never again matters but it doesn’t really matter. It’s like being rejected by a guy, it matters but it doesn’t really matter. It matters and is a big deal in that moment but the moment I decide to change my mind, that situation loses its effect. I believe every rejection has a lesson and a blessing attached to it. I think that we as humans make meanings out of things that sway our emotions and I’m not sure that’s always helpful. I appreciate all of my rejections now, in hindsight because it was a chance to start again. I appreciate my lessons because it’s made me resilient and appreciative of every time I was told no, not now, not yet or just nah. It’s okay to have doors close because there’s always a positive aspect right next to the negative one. It’s all a matter of perspective. I have a whole blog that quite a few people read, so while being published is an honor and a privilege, it’s not the defining point nor highlight of my life. Writing for me is like breathing, I’ll do it regardless because it’s a necessity to me. Rejection will never stop my flow.

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