Let’s face it, when a person has wronged my close friends or family, long after they have forgiven them, I am still holding the grudge. I don’t care how much time has passed, if you hurt my people, I’m gonna not like you forever and I’ll tolerate you because they like you but in reality, you’re on my shit list for life and I’m going to be watching you like a hawk. I’m a raging bull when it comes to my people and anyone can do whatever to me, but don’t violate the people I love because I’m going to come for you, we are going to square up and I’m going to finish you for fucking with my peeps. Straight up. My friends aren’t all like this but the ones that are, will never ever forget and probably won’t forgive either. Mama BFF is my most thorough emotional bodyguard and she’s my gut check and the voice of reason when my ass is off the rails. She reminds me to wear my helmet, put on my knee pads, and look both ways because I would dart straight into traffic. Obviously not in real life…but for love….ya girl is reckless.
Mama BFF is the yin to my yang. She will help me heal my heart and also help me fuck someone up. Lmaooooo. She is my guard and she will hold me down and prevent anyone from hurting me because she knows and I mean really knows how low my lows can go. It’s her job to do what she does because I am the same way with her. I am always going to ride for her and have her back and be in her corner no matter what. Nobody can hurt her without me telling them about themselves. She won’t always stick up for herself but best believe I’ll stick up for her and I’m unpleasant as fuck when I don’t like you. That said, Mama Bff will come around to someone who has hurt me….actually she probably won’t come around. She could be cordial and she will listen to what I have to say and she may even listen to what he has to say but her face will never hide her disdain and she will not hold back at all….ever. Honestly, if someone can survive the wrath of a bff then maybe they are worth it…but then again anyone can say anything in the moment.
I can appreciate someone who is there to remind me of much I was wounded and devastated. Someone who isn’t used to seeing me become undone but won’t judge me but absolutely despises the person who took me to that point. She will not soon forget how much pain I was in and that it was caused by someone who I vouched for and played themselves numerous times. My forgiveness and compassion sector is pretty easy to bypass with time. My BFFs….well let’s just say, those two will not be hanging out by themselves any time soon. However in the event that I ever get closer to him, and things progress…they will have to find room for each other in some capacity. But that’s not even on the table at this time, so we will cross that bridge when it comes.
I can almost recall the moment when Mama bff realized that it was him who I was talking to. Her face was priceless. It was straight disgust and disbelief. She grilled the shit out of him and if looks could kill, man he would be dead…brain matter everywhere and he would be DOA. I get it. I’d be the same way with my friends too. I can appreciate a loyal and a ride or die friend because I’m that person, always. We all need that person in our corner who is going to be a gut check and someone who will make sure that we are good and while they may not agree with our choices, they’ll be there anyway. I know that I may not always make great choices but I’m glad I have friends who will support me and dry my tears as opposed to saying they told me so. I’m truly happy that I have friends who love me enough to want to protect me from being hurt. But we can’t protect our ppl all the time and we all will make the choice we feel is best for us at the time. Life is about learning and knowing who has your back even when you do dumb shit.