The Babies

I’ve needed to take some days to reflect, mourn and grieve. The world is on fire and I don’t watch the news but the images are impossible to escape. I don’t realize that I’m being affected until I can’t sleep, I feel sad, my heart is heavy and I’m not writing. Writing is my truest form of expression and it is my pulse and gauge on my inner life. When I’m not writing, I’m overthinking and that can’t work. What’s been bothering me? Well, the children…the things that have been happening to children in America with ICE, XXXTentacion passing and the most recent thing that came like a bandit in the night and stole my peace, was seeing Junior from the Bronx being murdered and the shit is filmed for all the world to see. šŸ¤­šŸ˜“ā˜¹ļøšŸ˜”.

I can’t say anything about Junior that hasn’t already been said. There’s nothing more to say. I can’t say anything about ICE and their disgusting way of ripping apart those families, and the gun violence , what can I say? Honestly, our kids, us, everyone needs a hug man. What breeds this violence exactly? Why do we feel the need to be inherently so callous that we can record a young boy bleeding to death and post his death on social media? We saw it all, from his last breath to him goin six feet under. I couldn’t look away and I’m just as guilty for watching it. But I watched Junior and I thought of all the youth I’ve loved and still love over the years and it hurts. Each and every time someone like Junior is murdered it hurts. Each time a young person is killed, it hurts.

What’s the answer here? What can I do to evoke change and bring about a love in this life that will support instead of harm? It’s unacceptable the levels of compassion and empathy are just low. The caring that we as adults and as humans need to display is paramount to how we survive as a species. There are many elements that go into violence in our communities, and among them are poverty and apathy. If you don’t care if you live or die BECAUSE you really don’t see a future, then of course, what stops you from stabbing a kid with a machete??? On the other hand, when you’re a super wealthy and power hungry person, what do you do to stop them? How can one person be so vile that they think taking children away from their parents makes anything better? Our humanity seems to be misplaced because the images are disturbing and we rally, and we march and we petition, but then it dies down and until the next vile thing happens, we kinda go back to our own lives. Sigh.

I don’t have answers. I’m saddened by the state of the world and I live in a really beautiful community, filled with great people AND there was a hit and run the other day that left a young kid fighting for his life. I mean seriously? That’s what we have come to? We run over children and leave them there for dead? This can’t be life. I am always thinking of the children because they need us, but what happens when us as adults can’t even place what we are doing for ourselves? What happens when we don’t know how to process our feelings and we are just stuck in the rat race and we are so numb because of all the dumb shit that we just end up mentally stuck. Ahhhhh!!!!! There’s a lot of heaviness in the air and it’s spilling over into every aspect of our lives. Do we ignore it and enjoy our bubbles? Or do we lean in and risk losing our own sanity? I can’t say. I don’t have an answer. Shit is crazy.

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