Father’s Day is Underrated

Okay, so my Mother’s Day post was a little different because let’s face it, Mother’s Day is a fucking nightmare logistically and on so many other levels or just fucking sucks. Father’s Day though, is rough and not too many dads really get the shine they deserve AND it’s a bitter sweet day for so many, for many reasons and overall it just kinda stinks. However, I believe that it’s probably one of the sweeter day of acknowledgement that is kinda underrated. I am being biased, maybe, but so what? The dads, my dad included that I know are such wonderful fathers. Oh god, the men in my life, my friends, my cousins, the men that I have dated are really doting, soft, sweet men who just make my heart melt by the way they interact with their kids. My stepdad is a great father and an even better grandad to my kid who basically runs his whole life. Lmaoooo. He is Mr. Fix It, and he does everything that this little girl asks him to do and he’s always coming to the aid of someone who needs support. He’s a beautiful man and I appreciate him.

I think of Chocolate Drop who wont talk to me but what I can say about him is that he is an outstanding father. He was also a really positive influence in my kid’s life and continues to be despite the fact that he and I do not speak at all. He always said that even when I am done with you, your child is a part of my life forever. He means it and he’s been showing her love for such a long time and she loves him with her whole being. I could write about the guys I know and tell you stories they’ve told me about their children and you’d be sobbing. But I can’t get too detailed because many of these stories were told in confidence. But I’ll just say that so many of these men have gone through hell and back to be honorable dads despite circumstances not working in their favor. It takes a strong man to put his ego and pride aside in order to be with his kids no matter what.

There are no real specials, events, brunch advertisements or anything happening that would make dad feel special. Most guys probably don’t care about Father’s Day and like all made up holidays it’s about how you treat him every day. I can’t help but think about the terrible shit that today brings up for so many men who can’t, won’t or don’t know how to be there for their kids. It’s a sad thing to watch a man be broken by not being able to see his kids. I think of Mike Brown’s dad, Trayvon’s dad, Jordan, Tamir and all the dads who’ve had to bury their children and that’s a heart wrenching thing to watch. I think of each and every scenario in my years as an educator and broken men and broken boys is a sore and soft spot for me. It’s terrible to watch a young boy or young girl act out because of specifically missing their dads. It’s hard when dad is incarcerated, or absent for unknown reasons. It brings up so much anguish and pain and I’m just kinda speechless because I have nothing that could make that specific pain better.

A good, devoted, present, and loving father is a game changer for so many kids. Good men are good men for many reasons but raising their kids is at the top of that list. They push through adversity, shit talking, extra hours at work and who knows what else, to raise their children. Good fathers are not celebrated enough and it’s a shame. Salute to the funny dads, the silly dads, the Mr. Mom dads, the strict dads, the dads who always cry, the ones who can’t say no to their kids, the ones who work hard and still come home and make it to every recital and game, the incarcerated dads, the dads who try hard but still fail, the dads who have had to bury kids, the dads who didn’t have dads but are being great dads, the dads who come from generations of good dads, and all the dads who just do what dads do. I hope today and all days you feel loved, honored and appreciated. Happy Father’s Day.

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