Gentleman In The Streets

…but a BAD BOY IN THE SHEETS. Ha ha. I’m laughing my ass off writing this because I’m not writing about anyone in particular. I am writing about the guys who I seem to be very attracted to; tattoos, tall either in height or just personal confidence, dark hair, smart, alpha male, a boss, good father, family man, owns either a pickup, a Harley or both of these things and works with his hands in every way that could mean. Lmao!!!!!! I did not do this on purpose BUT I think I know why this is a thing for me. I like men who are tough, and I mean tough mentally, emotionally and spiritually…and physically. I am a tough chick and I cannot and will never be with a man that I can dominate and tell him what to do. Like nah…that’s that shit I don’t like. I like men who are big enough for both of us, and I can be feminine, a lady, and know that should any shit pop off, he’s there to handle it. I can handle anything, most things and I want to know that whomever I’m dating, he’s got all that handled and I’ll do my part.

I want to touch on the concept of nice guys real quick. So, these men are GOOD MEN but they aren’t what you think of when you think the textbook nice guy. Nice guys have a preconceived notion that they are friend zoned because they are too nice and too considerate and women can’t see that because they like dicks. WRONG!!! I like good men who are confident, who don’t need me to stroke their egos, and who just know what they want and who they are. They aren’t manipulative in their concerns and their connection to me BECAUSE they are just honest. Nice guys have ulterior motives at times and it backfires because their concern, while could be sincere, they want to be seen as a lover, or as desirable but if that’s not the space that we set up, and no conversation has been had otherwise, then why assume you’re friend zoned because you’re nice? Nice guys often don’t speak up when they are looking to date their homegirls and when they do it’s met with an awkwardness sometimes because it’s hard for anyone to maneuver from good friend to lover especially if we have been talking as best friends. There’s a sneakiness and a nastiness that is associated with friend zoned men that smells of entitlement, a false sense of ownership and a fantasy that belongs to the man only and never had anything to do with what I actually want. I said ALLL that to say that Good men, confident men and men who know what they want will speak up, be honest from the beginning and give women a choice about what they want and not waste anyone’s time.

I digress. I didn’t realize how much that thought actually infuriated me. Giving guys a chance because they are nice is like a woman telling a man to give a chick a chance because she’s nice. Ummmmm can nice satisfy all the shit I’m looking for? Nah. Fuck nice, give me honesty and then we can talk a bit more. Anyway, these men that I’ve been matching with have a similar look, sure, but their specific lives are different and well, they all have an outward swag that is sexy and you can see it coming off of the screen. These men are serious, and you can see it in their eyes but they smile broadly and earnestly in my presence. Their hands are rugged, big, blistered and cut up from manual labor but they are sturdy and steady enough to grab my waist, hips and hold me firmly without me ever feeling fear. These men are serious about their work and they rise before the sun, and work fucking hard but always make time in the day to say hey, and then they are refreshed for some really dynamic dates. I’m talking about men who take time to raise their children gently and firmly and spend time with their mothers and their families and still make room to ride their bikes. These men who juggle things that are consistent with powerful men and also full of empathy, kindness and maybe a little bit of an ego…but ummmm so?

I’ve always been a nice ass girl. I’ve been kind, loving, honest and pretty chill. But I’ve been more consistent at being a good woman. One who will listen, be there, support and give the goods that are crazy good. Ha ha. You feel me? I have no interest in being a nice fucking girl. Why? I can be a good woman, and still do what the fuck I want. I don’t not strive to be anyone’s nice wife or polite partner with no voice. Nah son. Fuck all that noise. I gotta do what I feel jives well in my soul. At this point there are a couple men that I’m digging. We all know that no one is dating exclusively. Lmaooooo!! What dawg? I am enjoying my life, safely and responsibly. Why should I date and commit to one man right this second? For whom? For fucking what? I like what I like, and who I like and I think that these good men and this good woman are being happy adults making choices that are good in our souls. Someone will catch feelings…it could be me but it could be them too. We will figure out next steps when that bridge needs to be crossed. Until then…bring on the bad boys. Lmaooooo

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