There are people that we meet that take us on a ride through the cosmic universe that blows our minds and blow our crown and heart chakras wide open. There are people that we meet and then those that take us through dimensions that transcend space and time. The kind of feeling that when you touch it’s electric and it is an experience nothing short of divine. It can be felt in platonic and romantic relationships alike. Sometimes we have this experience with our children and other times it’s a brief moment of an eye lock with a stranger. I know I’ve lived past lives, I know I’ve been on this earth before but I wasn’t me in this body but it was my soul undoubtedly. My life has had far too many intense moments that cannot be explained and I am okay with believing that I made some agreements with my soul tribe to find each other and I think that’s exactly what has happened and will continue to happen.
Yesterday I witnessed something beautiful unfold between two people who are meant to be and have probably agreed to be many lifetimes before. I think things like that are really difficult to ignore and deny. You legit cannot fight a feeling that is electric and written in the stars. There is something about a kiss from someone who you know your soul recognizes that takes you to higher heights. We can’t control what happens outside of these moments of sheer bliss. Life happens. But in that moment when his eyes find my eyes and he can peer into my soul, see where I’ve been and I do the same and we decide to make serious magic in the bed, the earth fucking moves. It moves in our bodies and we are making good on our agreement to find each other. God it feels like the safest place on earth in that moment and that is what we must remember, right? To cherish and honor this moment because nothing stays the same. But while we are in these moments of magic it is really important to feel what you feel, speak the truth and embrace each second. There is no guarantee that beyond that moment anything will be the same or feel the same and that’s what it is.
I think of my own oasis and my own experiences lately with extreme highs and electric moments. We are beautiful and we are written in the stars AND we still have to live our lives. No matter how badly we want our hearts and minds to align sometimes the real world doesn’t allow for that. There were moments when I only wanted to be wrapped up in his essence and in his warmth and that’s what it was. The moments of bliss and magic was afforded and lent to us for that space and time. Beyond that it was not aligned and that is going to have to be okay. I am going to have to be okay with reality because I was okay with the moments of magic. No one is at fault for living a life that is best for them in that moment. We have to do what keeps us sane and what keeps us true to our own selves. I will never be mad at anyone for that because if we unravel, lose it and become undone how can we live our lives and care for our responsibilities? I tend to prefer to date people who can provide stability but I think that’s boring. There has to be fire, passion and drama for me to really want it. Sounds a little crazy but I know myself. I live for the magic and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I am so grateful that I’ve known love and felt love and been in the space of making love while being In love. Those moments are ours and no one can take that away from us. I know that he feels me and he cannot deny any part of our energy and I know he doesn’t want to. He must live his truth and find his way in his own life. I am not mad at that. I think that he must be hurting and feeling the weight of the magic that has eluded him and because he won’t allow himself to have the language he is suffocating under the weight of his lack of light. To be so tortured that you cannot bridge the gap between your magic and your reality fucking sucks. I have so much compassion and empathy for him and his struggle but I won’t do anything about it. But moments like this I smile and I feel warm inside because he has been my oasis in a crazy drought. Thinking of him in warm and fuzzy ways keeps me present to the magic in my life and it’s a reminder that you can love someone who you really don’t fuck with nor want them as a part of your life until they figure out theirs. I can’t have his turbulent energy fucking with mine but I have enough love to send him light. I was also his oasis and I will send him meditative vibrations. I can do that.
We are free to love who we love and we are free to explore the world and those with whom we have created magic with will always be a part of our story. It is up to us to find the moral and the lesson. We can allow our stories to make us or to break us. We can have a story full of villains or we can see everyone as an oasis at some point. I love this connection I’ve had and I am okay with the chapter closing because we are in fact written in the stars. Whether the story is completely ended or to be continued, the moment we had was already lived. The love we had was already felt. The energy was already consummated in the universe. We are already written into each other’s stories and I embrace the magic that transpired. I’m at peace with my truth and I am praying he will find his way and his light. I hope he knows that the beacon of light will always flicker in my soul for him. I will always love him from wherever I am but I don’t have the energy to come to him. When he grows he can reach me, until then the love will be sent out from where I am and I can only hope he can feel it under all the weight of his fears.