I’m reflecting on the zig zag of trials and triumphs that has become my life and I can’t help but smile. I’ve been in some precarious and interesting situations that helped me grow and I found myself stretching to rise to the occasion. I can’t ever recall a time in my life when I thought to myself that I couldn’t do something or couldn’t get what I wanted. I don’t know who planted that seed but I’ve always had this belief that if something is for me, I will get it. It’s never been a matter of if I’ll get it, but simply WHEN? I always joke that maybe all the collective prayers that my grandmother and great-grandmother have prayed reached the ears of the right people. I’ve been pretty blessed. I think that this persistence and commitment to having what I want has opened up the magic in me to bring to me the things that I want. I learned a long time ago that the universe will bring to us what we ask for most loudly and consistently. I gotta be careful with the thoughts I’m putting out there.
What about when you don’t feel lucky/fortunate/confident? I think there are some arenas where it is just impossible to feel confident or fortunate. I can say the romance department for me is not a place where I can generate my magic. But I’ll also say that I don’t feel compelled to. I am not convinced that being coupled will enhance my life or make it better than it is now. I truly believe that my interactions with the men in my life are great in the small doses that they live in right now. Besides creating partnership of some kind that’s equally beneficial to both of us, I don’t think I could be together for love alone. Being in a relationship just to be in a relationship is not appealing to me mentally nor emotionally. I’m not opposed to it, but whomever I’m with has to appeal to me more than my solitude and peace of mind appeals to me. It may sound crazy, but I’m in the most peaceful mental and emotional space that I’ve ever been in and I don’t want to lose that feeling. He will have to bring to my life something I didn’t know I was missing and I’m open to that. Stallion showed me a little something and that’s what I’d be willing to open my life to. However due to the conditional and complicated ways of human beings, I’m going to be solitary until I see real action and movement.
I think there’s something trained in one’s soul and spirit that makes you believe in your own personal magic. I think it’s a combination of resilience and rising from the ashes. To take it a step further, it’s about reviewing where you’ve come from, and acknowledging the blunders, the fallout and figuring out what it was all for. There have been times when I was in a battle with myself. I wasn’t being kind to myself nor encouraging myself by being in solitude. This isn’t the same type of solitude I am experiencing now, rather it was a solitude to escape the world because it was too painful. I stayed away because I couldn’t connect and I didn’t want to connect because I didn’t have anything to offer in that moment. I believe that it was necessary to hold on to that darkness for that time but I also knew I couldn’t stay there forever. All magicians have to master their craft but it doesn’t happen in one day. It takes practice to become good at anything. Affirmations and thinking positive thoughts is a part of it, but accessing the actions that bring me to greatness is something else entirely. Everyday is a practice in showing the universe what I want. Every blog post, every networking event, every smile, every single moment is an opportunity to connect with the magic within me and share it with the world. Isn’t that what life is about?
I have been practicing living life in the moment. People ask me about affairs of the heart and I what I think about what’s to come and I don’t knowwwwww. I can’t know and I don’t really want to know because I need to stay focused on this moment. I’m not going to change the past and I can’t change the future but I have control and access to this present moment to an extent. This precious moment is all I have and I promised myself I’m going to maximize on it by being focused and grateful on the here and now. Magic lives in the here and now. Planning though, I necessary for magic. The magic is the end product but the work that goes into making sure nothing goes wrong is pure sweat and discipline. I think the attitude about the work, about the planning and the intention set IS the magic. The magic also really only works if people can relate to the material and are in awe of it. There is a particular skill set when it comes to making hard work look easy. The skill set is loving what you do and why we do it. Loving the work and loving the people who the work will touch will make it more enjoyable. That’s really all I have to say about that for now.