He doesn’t want me to write about him but because I’m stubborn and I like to defy him, here it is. I have come a very long way with this man who I proudly call my friend. We met in a non conventional way, at a time when I was mentally and emotionally tired as fuck but still doing okay. He was a wreck but was pretending like he wasn’t but he knew he was considering the copious amounts of alcohol he was consuming. He was dealing with the fallout of something traumatic and I know that now but at the time it was puzzling.
He intrigued me because he was dapper, debonair and his soft voice vibrated deeply in my soul. We talked about a lot and within the first hour we had a debate about the existence of Jesus. The conversation was intriguing and I had to see what he was talking about. We met up in a mutually close location for lunch and it was pretty cool. We agreed to meet for dinner…well a liquid dinner and that was too fun. I learned more about him, his life and his trials and naturally I was intrigued. We kissed and went our separate ways. Less than 12 hours later I was in his bed on a cold, rainy morning and the rest is history.
We carried on with some deep exchanges but what transpired was learning that we are compatible but not in ways that make for a long monogamous relationship. He was not over the trauma of a relationship gone so wrong. I wasn’t understanding the place he was in so I let him know that I wasn’t going to be a casualty in this war he had with himself. I said that but I also knew a part of me was learning to love his dysfunctional but really functional ways of being. In the midst of his silence and him circling back to explain his thought process. I was growing to love him because even though he was distant at times he always let me know it wasn’t me. He showed appreciation and gratitude and for that I’ll always make room in my heart.
Mr. Aquarius has never slighted me, he’s never made me feel unsafe, and he’s never made me question his loyalty or feelings for me. He has become someone I need to talk to when I’m joyful, sad, distressed, lost, confused or just need to process. He is in my corner telling me brutal truths and keeping me on my toes. He is with me when I make some of my decisions and when I don’t give a fuck what he’s saying. Mr. Aquarius has no idea what I’m gonna say so he probably doesn’t want me to publish this. But the truth is that I love him, I honor him, I need him and I’m thankful for our beautiful friendship. He’s so much of what I need in my life from a man. We are in a solid place and I love that.
There are times when I wanna sleep with him but that’s usually after several rounds of drinks. The sober me knows we work best when we are sober,conversing and sharing ideas. I appreciate Mr. Aquarius and I need him eternally.