Maybe…

One night yea?

That’s kinda all it takes

To find the correct kind of spark

The right kind of affection

But it also takes a moment

For me to wonder

If this can really work

I am terribly panicked

Maybe you’ll change your mind about me

Perhaps you’ll think I’m not amazing

Or I’m not worth your time

It wouldn’t be the first time

That I thought things were going well

But then things go awry

I sometimes wonder about my inefficiency

To believe in the possibility

That somebody could appreciate me

Just as I am

Flaws and follies

Wounded but whole

Could you really want me

In the way the body needs water?

Could you want my presence

The way flowers burst in the spring?

Could you desire me

The way a man desires a woman he didn’t know he needed?

Am I to believe you see me holistically?

Imperfect perfection

Figuring out a could be situation

Sifting between the reality and fantasy

You enjoyed being in me

Kissing me

Touching me

Being near me

Yesterday

But what about today?

What about tomorrow?

What about when things aren’t smooth

And my anxiety gets the best of me?

Or the times when I’m lost and confused

Could I count on you then?

Are you really gonna journey with me?

Or will you change your mind

The way tides change?

Will you ghost on me

The way people ghost when they are in over their heads

I know me

I know I’m worthy

I’m wonderful

Kind

Brave

But it’s never ever meant anything

When I got played

Or disrespected

Or put on pause

So I take steps back

And I watch your actions

I observe how you move

I allow time to tell

But I don’t hold my breath

Because I see how cruel the world can be

Perhaps things can be different

Maybe…